February 2012
65 posts
2 tags
The Gamecube had the best controllers.
They just fit in the palms of your hands like they were sent by a divine creator to simply BE there. There were no problems with how it felt, it didn’t take any getting used to, you just put the controller in your hands and BLAM-O, you’re playing a game and enjoying yourself. Nintendo should have started making handles for things out of the molds for the Gamecube controllers, because...
1 tag
runciblejabberwock asked: What is the best bomb and how do you make burgers?
Anonymous asked: What is the best burger bomb?
Do you have an uncontrollable urge to ask me... →
Like “what is the best burger” and “how do I make bombs”.
I need a pair of pants with high-powered suction...
I want to be able to sit EVERYWHERE.
1 tag
I'm going to be embracing my non-existent...
I hate it when I introduce myself and people hear the “Jar-” sound and then assume that I said “Jerry” or “Jeremy”. Let’s a-change it up, yes???
Also, this is not a joke.
2 tags
On poetry
Though I am a fan of the poet,
I much prefer the prose’r
For when I look at poets
I find most of them to be posers.
It does not take much time
to find the right rhyme
especially when your meter
makes you sound like a hormonal teenager
I prefer free-verse
as opposed to the rhymes of the
quatrain
couplet
etc.
for structure is something that I detest
and not a single one of the
...
“You just say all of these outrageous things all of the time and it’s...”
– My friends
1 tag
YOU GUISE GUESS WHAT?!?!?!!!!!111!!!! I'LL TELL YA...
“MY HEART WILL GO ON” WILL BE SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE AGAIN
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
1 tag
I can play 8 chords on the guitar in a fairly...
Even though I’m pretty terrible, I’m still better than most of the people who own a guitar.
Anonymous asked: How are you so awesome?
I can play Take On Me on the keyboard
Where is my video camera. Also, how do I work it.
2 tags
Today I was told that if I applied my creative...
If I applied my creative energies to anything other than writing, art, music, etc (which are all constructive, contrary to some people’s beliefs apparently), I would end up blowing up the moon or something.
In fact, let’s do just that. We’ll blow up the moon.
So I just found out that the...
Well that’s just great. I’m the only person in the room who isn’t either going to a prestigious out of state school or planning on becoming an engineer. I’m shaking my fists at Past-Jared for his ignorance.
But that’s only what I heard. I’m going to inquire about it before working myself up into a tizzy. On the other hand, my vast knowledge of sci-fi is the...
“SMALL VALENTINE’S DAY POEM
Roses are red,
Violets are purple,
Which is a...”
– http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2006/02/small-valentines-day-poem.html (via neil-gaiman)
1 tag
My family got kilts even though we're not...
My brother was the first to get one and now my father and I just ordered our own. I’m ecstatic. If I can get some other guys in on it, I’ll probably wear it to prom. Then again, I might just wear it regardless companionship.
Anonymous asked: Hyperlexia tends to be associated with Autism. Are you autistic/aspie in any way?
Didn't watch the Grammy awards
Some famous people got some awards for making okay-I-guess music and now they are more famous or something. I’m supposed to be impressed about how famous they are versus how not-famous all the music that I like is.
That being said, most of my music is either too old, too weird, or not amongst any of the covered genres to even be considered for the Grammys, so it’s pretty...
Ohmygawd, Full Metal Jousting
Best show. Best sport.
On reading aloud.
I have the hardest time reading aloud. I cannot read aloud to save my life. I might start out good, but I end up stumbling over words in a chaotic snowball of stammering and jabbering. I’ll mispronounce words or mistake one word for another. I sound like a third grader trying to read War and Peace to his class. It’s not that I’m dyslexic, to the contrary, I am hyperlexic; I am...
1 tag
Jared resume, 2012
Experience:
3 months maintenance and custodial work at local charter school (references available)
Various unofficial home-improvement jobs for neighbors (references available)
Spent an entire summer editing Zeldapedia as an administrator/bureaucrat (references unavailable due to momentary lapse in sanity and deleting half the wiki before getting banned)
Accomplishments:
Currently in...
My mom once met the lady who knit Bill Cosby's...
what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what
Bill Cosby biography summed up in one sentence:
Zoop-a-doop boppity-bip bop.
Okay, Pandora, I have forgiven you.
My They Might Be Giants channel has turned into 80’s synthesizer and awesomeness channel. If there is a god, he/she/it has good taste in music.
"GO TO BED!!!!"
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
2 tags
"Fly like a G6"? I usually feel more like a...
I was playing my melodica, attempting to play...
The shrieking turned out to be the television. My mother is on her annual American Idol binge.
I was unaware that that show was still in existence. I’m a bit impressed, though, at its resolve. I mean, a television show this terrible rarely stays around this long. Jerry Springer probably sheds tears upon seeing this horrid work of art.
1 tag
Okay, Pandora, this is the last straw
I don’t mind it when you go overboard with the power metal. Hell, I don’t even mind the overrated semi-popular music you sometimes play. But when you start playing dubstep, of all things, I am afraid that we can no longer be friends.
Good-bye, Pandora.
1 tag
I think it would be neat to have super long arms...
Or have another knee that bends backwards. That’d be neat, too.
Post about abortion and masturbation. Lose a...
Pfffft, whatevs. You weren’t welcome here anyway.
2 tags
On abortion.
When is murder considered murder? When does morality breach medicine? For many people, it is answered by the answer of yet another question: where does life begin? Upon birth? In the womb? The answer might come to you as a surprise. Life, as many knowledgable people can tell you, starts in the testicles.
While some might consider it far-fetched and insane, the sperm of a male human is, in fact,...
Since when did my folk-indie-angst music channel...
I only liked two Blind Guardian songs. They weren’t even from their metal selection.
Pandora, while I am a fan of Nightmare Before...
I just want to listen to obscure happy music written by manic depressives. Is that too much to ask???
1 tag
I see all of these posts that say, "If you were a...
And all I can think of is, “THOSE WERE 2000’S SHOWS.”
If you were still figuring out how to be coherent by the time 1999 rolled around, you were not a 90’s kid. You were born in the 90’s, but you did not experience the cultural milestone that was the 90’s. You experienced the abortion known as the new millennium.
